Sertraline Smile

Sertraline Smile
Blinding your eyes
Happy am I, but in a daze
Fogged over mind and clouded soul
Cannot see cannot be
me

False flamboyance
Enjoying life as in a dream
grenadine grin
Showing Joy notofthesoul
saccharine sweet
Grimacing at the obvious mistake

FAKE! FAKE! FAKE!
A thousand angry voices pollute my mind
Screaming that this is not REAL
FAKER they cry over and over
FAKER yelling with disgust
FAKER! YOU ARE NOT!

Fear, anger, they must not know
They must NOT know ME
They hate my emotion - My angst - My sorrow
They hate me for showing the world that I am not whole.
Terrified clutching in desperation to the last pills of hope
The last tiny cloak of drugs
Of caffiene and adrenaline
Of SERTRALINE
That will hide the true me.

WHY do they hate me so blindly
The voices in the croud yell
"FAKER!
Your pain is not REAL!
Turn on the news! Look out your window!
There you see true pain,
in the raped and the soulless and the starving
in the sick and the dying and the protecting
THERE is the REAL pain.
YOURS IS NOT. YOU ARE NOT."

A thousand angry voices scream
Wrecking my perfect peace
Ruining my delusion of contentedness
FAKE FAKE FAKE
Outside and inside! EVERYTHING!
Screaming FAKER!