Smoke

Curling creeping clouding
my vision of you.
I see you as you should have been.
As you would have been
As I needed you to be.

I now know not what
is keeping me from you
except the feeble innocence
of one who does not deserve to be hurt.

The smoke that fills your lungs
and your brain and your heart;
polluting, purifying, which is it?

Torn

So cold but sweating
I reach out to touch you while I pull my hand back

An old song plays
lifting floating memories
Memorizing lines on your face.
Don't be sad... please

Forgetting and free
Mind flies to the beat of your heart
Not replacing, but covering;
you write me a new song

I am torn
Old song, can I forget you?
New song, can I leave you?
Or should I live without music?

Swingset

I hate the swing on which I sit
Sadly I'm a part of it.
I cannot rise, I cannot fall
I cannot move my ass at all.
I can't control the swing
It moves me wildly, playing
Toying with my greatest fears
Spinning wildly through the years
I hate the swing on which I sit
I want badly to be rid of it
But I do not have the power
To leave the swing, not for an hour

Whispering wind
caressing hair, beating brow
dizzying velocity of fuzzy emotion
I drag my feet but it doesn't slow
I am not in control

Madness engulfing...
I
Need.
Direction.

Warmth?

a draft of air...
and goosebumps appear
i reach to pull cloth
over offending hip
but warmth covers it
calmly caressing, smoothly pressing
soft fingers fit perfectly

comfort i don't want to lose -
unsure if it is real, but i don't care.
uncertain of stability, of security
uncertain of promise, of purpose
but i throw everything practical away
everything true too can leave

....just to be in your arms tonight.

Crimson Tide

Scarlet waves calmly cresting
Over alabaster shore
Soaking into the white crystals
That burn and numb simultaneously
This is my pain
This is my cure
This is my blood
Slowly soaking snow
On pure, unmarred wrists.

Animatronics

Rejection tastes of alcohol
Chemicals flowing through my brain
Filling my eyes with improper tears
Kill the impulse, blink the pain away
No one must know.

Oil and pain and metal
Glistening blade cuts another hole
My jaw is clenched as is my fist
"There is no pain" - my silent mantra
Smile, no one knows

Blood spills
Wound does not heal
Hidden beneath layers of bandage
and propriety and medication and pretense
Falsity for my own protection
Killing the romantic of my soul

Oil spills
Unimportant loss
I am in control...
Controls Controlling metal case
Rubbery skin and jerky joints
Flawless, feelingless responce
I am The Machine.